Think of someone who is afraid to let go of a nightmare because, after all, that is the only world he knows. There you have a picture of yourself and other people.
This the section titled 'Discipleship' from The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello, wherein the author claims happiness is hard to define. Pleasure, excitement, sure, but not happiness.
And yet earlier in the same section, there is this hint:
Look around and see if you can find a genuinely happy person--fearless, free from insecurities, anxieties, tensions, worries. You would be lucky if you found one in a hundred thousand. This should make you suspicious of the programming and the beliefs that you and they hold in common.
Recommended also by Naval Ravikant on this recent podcast, at 51:45.
Here's a link to the full book as a PDF.
Here's what Bookshop.org says:
The Way to Love contains the final flowering of Anthony de Mello's thought. Here, more than ever before in his bestselling writing, he grapples with the ultimate question of love. In thirty-one meditations, each several pages long and each preceded by a Gospel quotation, he implores his readers with his usual pithiness to break through illusion, the great obstacle to love. "Love springs from awareness, " de Mello insists, saying that it is only when we see the other as he or she really is that we begin to love. The second act of love, he says, is seeing ourselves without illusion - without the coercive nature of our needs, desires, memories, prejudices, and projections. If these steps are taken, then love will steal upon a person or into a relationship. But the task is not easy. "The most painful act the human can perform, " de Mello says, "is the act of seeing. It is in that act of seeing that love is born." These are meditations to be savored and shared. This is a book - in a handy gift size to be held close to the heart.